OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(
OUT OF MY MIND. =(

di ko akalaing di to lalanggamin. haha!!

sayo! =)

ang sarap mainlove nnpaulit2! =)
hohow.. di ako mppgod mahalin ka! =)

ps.walang pkielamanan! =P

ERRR..

IM VERY EAGER TO PASS THIS EXAMINATION!! ERRR..

ERRR..

IM VERY EAGER TO PASS THIS EXAMINATION!! ERRR..

Im a Social Realist

My psychology test Result.

Your personality type: "Social Realist"

Warm-hearted, popular and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well-developed sense of space and function.

Careers that could fit you include:

Home economics, nursing, teaching, administrators, child care, family practice physician, clergy, office managers, counselors, social workers, bookkeeping, accounting, secretaries, organization leaders, dental assistants, homemakers, radiological technologists, receptionists, religious educators, speech pathologists.

=)

There's nothing more. ;l
1st picture we had. and the only picture we have.
hahahahahaahaha.. xp

PS ilove you

August 19, 2009

absolutely its friday. I don't know why but that day sbrang ilang ako sknya. And I think its because he's the one in my dreams last night. Yah.. napanaginipan ko sya at sbrang dko maintindihan kng bkit sya at kng bkit gnun yung panaginip ko. It goes like this..

The settings of the place is exactly the same look of the house kng san sya ngsstay, at that tym na napanaginipan ko yan never pa kng nkkpunta sa bhaws nla at nung nakapunta ako nagulat ako kac nga parang nakita ko na to, at yun nga sa panaginip ko nga nakita. Its a small room, A dark Room, Bed is not that accentuate. And to get inside of it, there's a stairs before it. What happen is my dreams is like this, we're too much to close to each other and that moment I go there to visit him. The climax here is, we're kissing each other while the other is nude u suddenly there's my classmate who saw us he saw us and he told everybody everything that he see. At grabe yun.. And In my dreams wala syang salamin. Kaya i know how he looks without his eyeglasses.

August 19, 2009, its our PE. So out of curiosity I asked him f he can take off his eyeglasses but unfortunately eto yung cnbe nea sken..

"Bkt? Next time nlang kac parang nhhilo ako."

So I respect it at hinayaan ko nln yung imagination ko ulit.

But I just wonder why he did this he always lagi nya kng tntawag at pag lilingunin ko sya sakto nman nn pagsuot nea nn salamin nea. ARGGGGHHH! ilang beses naulit yun, ni dko nga at natsempuhan na tinanggal nea. At talaga nmang ako'y nbwisit naasar at nayamot sa gnwa nya! kaya nung ippkita na nea tlga dko na sya pinansin.

Tinawagan nea ko that night, and he asked me why Im asking him to take off his eyeglasses. at sbe ko nman..

"E kac napananaginipan kita, tas wala kang salamin dun."

"Oh tlga? Anung nnyare sa panaginip mo?

Sympre nung tinanung nea yan ayoko tlaga sbhin! pde ko ba nmang sbhin sknya na, napanaginipan po kita kahalikan ako! npka manyak nn dating kac hubad ka. ta may nakakita pa sten. hahaha so I tell the opposite.

"Hmm.. wla may kahalikan ka dw e, tas nkita ko dw kau." "Oh? anung itsura nung bbae?" "Am.. dko pa nkita." "Ay! tlaga! bkit mo kya gnu yung panaginip mo. cno kya yung bbae nu?"

hahaaha.. nung cnbe nea yan tlaga nmang natawa ako! haha.. gsto ko snang sbhin "ako lan nman yun! at dko mawari kng bkit kita kahalikan!" hahaha.. kaso nkkhiya. ayun. hehe..

August-September

One more thing that happens this month diko lang alam kng August pa yun o September. Dko talaga matandaan ee.. My Adviser is Forcing me to run as President of the Student Council e tlga nmang ayoko, ee kaso sbe nea ttulungan dw ako nitong gurong malapit sa akin. (hanep! gmgnun? haha) ee yun lan ayaw nea, umiyak na ko sa harap nea't lahat deadma pdn. ampp nsbe ko tuloy sknya to!

"Tandaan mo tung araw na to!
Pinaiiyak mo ko!"

at dahil dun sa cnbe kung yun sumama din pla luob nea skn, kaya nman nilapitan ko sya at nag sorry..

"Sir. Sorry po knna.." "Sumama lan luob ko kac cnbe mo pinaiiyak kta, hindi nman sa ayaw ko pero kac bblik ata ako sa luob sa October, bka di kta matulungan." "Aa.. gnun pu ba October pa nman kau bblik e, edi mttulungan neo pa ko" "Gsto ko kac pag ngng adviser ako, tuloy2." "Aa.. gnun pu b? Kaso wla na kng balak ituloy to. Si Sir ** lan nman mapilit ee.. E panu kng halimbawa kunin kau nn iba? Kunin kau blang adviser nla?" "Hindi ako ppyag, kasi kng mggng political adviser man ako sau lan.."
"Aa.. tlaga???" "oo."

kaya nman pinanghawakan yun. At talga nmang ntuwa ako sa cnbe neang yun. ahaha! kaya nung knuha sya nn iba di nga sya pumayag sbe pa skn ni Rye nun (Sya yung tumkbo blang pres.) Di dw pumayg kac nga ngpromise skn ahahaha ANG HABA NN HAIR KO ;) jok lan. ehhee..

ayun at nung unang beses kming nag away ee, nung cnbihan ko syang SUGAPA. nyay. I never thought na sbrang maapektuhan sya. dahil jan di nea ko pinancn.. haha nung mag ssorry na ko sknya may napag3pan akung cartolina gnupit gupit ko yun tas cnulatan nn sorry. e kaso nung inabot ko sknya deadma kaya ang gnwa ko hinagis ko dun sa bakod na nadaanan nmen. AHAHAHAHA ;P

2B CONTINUE ;)

Huli nba para Magbago ako?

From my Previous Blog, entitled "If only I can Say this to you" halos cnsbe ko na ata lhat nn negative na gsto kng bguhin sknya. Lagi nln mali nya yung nppuna ko, yung mga small things nggng big issue skn. Mga cmpleng bagay pinapatulan ko. Masydo kac akung nag ppaapekto. Im insisting things, gsto ko kac kng anu ung gsto ko dpat gnun yung mangyare, parang gnu kac yung dting. nyahaha.. At some point may tama dn nman ako, minsan kac mhirap tlga. Kagbi nrealize ko lan na hndi lan pla sya yung mali, na ako dn pala marming mali at pagkkulang. Sana hindi pa huli para mag bgo ako.. Sna bgyan mo dn ako nn chance para maitama yung mga mali ko.

second chance is always possible.

There's no such thing as perfect relationship.. there's an instance in my life when i asked someone why he is cheating his girlfriend then i got this answer..

"wla nmang perfect relationship e. and khit pa practice makes perfect di nman pwedeng ipractice yun! dko nman gusto gwin to sknya e. may mga bagay ln na kulang. mga bagay na dko mkita sknya.."

At first, I was really disappointed with his answer.

so i ask him..

"may kulang pla. bkt di mo sbhin sknya.. bkt kylngan sa iba mo pa hnapin?"

then he says..

"mhirap. pero pno pg ang hinahanap ko e ang pagkkusa nia? pgkkusang mrealize yun. kac kayong mga bbae lgi niung sinisisi yung la2ke. di nyo maicp na kya nmin nggwa yun e dhil kau dn ang dahilan."

when i heard it.. it strikes me within! although i'm not blaming him he's much defensive. (haha)

maybe he's right.. some girls thinks that guys ARE THE CHEATERS OF THE SOCIETY.. those experiences they encounter might be the source of their beliefs.

but in some circumstances in life me myself i admit I CHEATED i cheat in a way of loving someone i dnt really love, saying him that i love him even though i dont, doing things out of sincerity and the dishonesty i made.

i was cheated. and when i found it.. I WAS TOTALLY HURT.
i was just found myself longing and asking this..

"sn ba ko ng kulang? anung mali? dpa b ko enuf? do i really deserve this!"

yah. i admit at first it really hurts!

I BLAME MYSELF.

I CRY LIKE SOMEONES DIED.

I LUZ MYSELF.

but then after, i recall the conversation i had with my friend.

and i realize that in some part or another i was also the one who lead him to the path of unfaithfulness.

people have their own strength and weaknesses. and we should accept the fact that mistakes are unavoidable. its wrong to blame yourself for what you have done and say that you're too bad after doing it. mistakes are made for us to learn and forgiveness is made for us to change.

JUST WANNA SHARE THIS LEARNING EXPERIENCE :]

If sadness is what happens when you turn your anger inwards, hope is what happens when you turn your happiness, outwards. i still love him and that forgiveness doesn't mean i tolerate it but it only means that i still do believe in him.

Forbidden Love

Teachers nowadays exist in different age, some are too old while some are too young but whatever it takes after class teachers can be our "barkada". Why I mention it? Its because that is the flow of the story.

Teachers is our Mentor. They should be treated with high respect and We all know that Being in love to your teacher is a big NO NO. bawal na bawal. Student-teacher relationships are considered largely unacceptable in our society.

But I must admit that I fell in love to my teacher.

At first I don't have any interest about him. I just enjoyed the way he teach. I love everything about him - his unfathomable intelligence, his sweetness, silliness, liveliness, and overall loveliness. He's ridiculously smart but not patronizing; his mischievous, sweet smile has the ability to melt everyones heart, his eyes are so keenly searching and inquisitive yet at the same time wholly empathetic. Everything about him is just absolutely endearing. In short I adore him as my teacher.

Everybody loves him. He's rare. haha..
He's young, and absolutely open minded that's why every student loves him.

According to him, he has a girlfriend. I don't know whats the sense of saying it in our class, yet everyone seems not so interested. haha.. I'm not really sure but If u'll ask me, at that moment I DONT REALLY CARE ABOUT HIS STATUS. ;) ahaha.. The whole time he was saying it Im saying this in my mind "Anu ba to? As if nman interesado kme. Part ba nn Mapeh to?" unfortunately at that moment Im one of those students who doesn't really care about his personal life, All I want is to listen to his intelligence ideas and to learned from him.

After a few days, He began teaching and finally Catch up the hearts of those students because of his amazing ideas. I must admit Im one of those students na naging excited sa mga pinagssbe nea. haha.. Then that's somehow the start of the closure.

I'm a varsity Player, and at that time wla kming adviser so THEY ASKED him if he can handle and manage us, In fact he looks so interested. haha.. So One day we have our training, and he's there. He's just watching us, and I was shocked when he asked us about our personal life, what I'm trying to say is about our love life. Nung una bumubulong pa ko sa sarili ko "Pake m nman sa buhay ko?" haha.. He asked me but I refuse to answer coz definitely I don't have any And I still love my past. Di ko cngot pero tumtwa nln ako, and kung may cnbe man ako in A nice way nman. Dahil nga di ko cnagot he asked my bestfriend kung cno, and my bestfriend just laugh too..

After the training, He invite us to have lunch. Treat nya daw that's why without second thought sumama kme. haha.. After lunch, I feel comfortable to him. That's why while walking I tell him the FUCKING STORY OF MY LOVELIFE. after that nanahimik na ko. and I was absolutely shocked nung cnbe nia skn to..

"Lex, wag kang sisimangot nn ganyan. Kac ang taray mo tngnan, parang abot langit yung katarayan mo."

Don't know what to say, That's why I just smiled at him. ;)

After a few days we became Friends. And one time while walking in the patio nasalubong ko sya, nakatayo ata sya nun sa may pinto and the he asked me..

"Anu bng number mo? Bat di ka nagrreply?" "Ha? Naka smart po ako e." "Yun nga sa smart kta tnex ee.." "Aa.. tlga? wla akung nrrcv.. hehe."

Undenial queen! haha.. I recv his text messages but I just Ignored it.

The day after that, I recv a text message again from him. And I Ignored it again.
When Free time comes he asked me again with the same question and I answered him with the same answer. haha..

And for his third attempt na sbi ko to sa srili ko..

"Nako, eto na nman. Mareplyan na nga, wala na kung maicp na iddhilan kng bkit di ako nkkpgreply e.."

So That's it. Pero bbhira ko lan sya replyan duh' ang mahal kaya smart ako globe sya.

Then One day in class, he share again his personal when I heard it this thoughts came to my mind "Ano ba to Current Events?? Kylangn tlga updated kame?" but After I heard it parang naapektuhan ako sknya, bgla kung nrmdman ung sakit na nrmdman nea. Unfortunately, nakipag break pala yung girlfriend nya sknya, with her unacceptable reason. So, khit di ako interesado sa knyang mga personal na buhay, sa puntong yun na nalungkot ako para sknya.

And after A few weeks, I rcv text messages again. Text message like this..

"Kaen kna po." "Magandang gabi po."

This sounds simple to me, kay I text him..

"Ui. wag ka po mag sayang nn Extra load skn. hehe.."

Then I got this reply..

"Wala namng nssyang sa tulad mo."

after that di ko na nreplyan. haha..

Then, I transfer to globe, not because of him but because my reason to stay to that network was gone. So that's the start. Nagkakatex kame..

He asked me kng bkit daw ako nkipag break sa Recent kng ex, And I answered this..

"E, kac sbrang sweet ayoko nn Sbrang sweet.haha"

At natawa tlga ako sa sgot nya..

"Ay, edi hndi pala tau pwede?"

hahaha.. kaya nman after our class biniro ko sya sbe ko "Syang di pla tau pde.." at ayun na nga nging close na kme.. Tinulungan ko ata sya mag move on. Im not sure e.

Then, One night nagulat nlang ako tinawagan nea ko. Don't know why akala ko nman may emergency kaya cngot ko kgad. At ayun yun nga.. wla lan pla haha.. We talked until 3 am and that was so so so.. ewan.

One of our conversation includes our personal life, dahil nga kumportable na ko sknya nkkapag kwento na ko. Ayun naalala ko nung cnbe nea to..

"Naka prepaid ako, ok lan ikaw nman ang kausap ko." -PANIWALANG PANIWALA AKO NA NKA PREPAID SYA KAC NGA BGO AKO SA GLOBE DI KO ALM NA MAY UNYT PALA. HAHAHA.. "Panu kung Namatay ako at ang tanging paraan lang para mabuhay ako e ang mahalin mo ko." - SPEECHLESS AKO JAN. :l "Meron nga akung gsto ngaun e, kaso ayaw nyang maniwala na gsto ko sya." -NAGPANGGAP NA INOSENTE AT TNANUNG KO KNG CNU YUN. "Alam mo seloso akung tao, gsto ko pag akin akin lan." -AFTER KO MAG KWENTO ABOUT MY PAST YAN YUNG CNBE NEA. "Panu kung Ligawan kita?" -TAWA LAN. "ADIK KB?" LGI KNG SAGOT. "Hindi ko ibaba to hanggat di mo ko pnpyagan mahalin ka." -KINBUKASAN KAC MERUN KMING CONTEST NA MAGCCMULA NN 8 AM KAYA NGPPAALAM NA KO KASO AYAW NEA.

Ask me how that conversation end. It ends like this, nalobat yung phone ko, at after nun hndi ko na bnuksan. haha.. Sleepyhead knocks me to sleep.

When I woke up, I found out this is in my inbox.

"Hala, di na ko mkatawag. Next question pa nman ako."

Wala lan bat ba. ahha.. ayun.

Then after that, nagtuloy2 na un. Lagi kming mag kausap, minsan umaabot tlga nn 6am. Buti nga hndi ak0 tnutulugan nun sa tex e. haha!

Until, we bcame soo much close.

I purposefully try to go where I know I will find him. I ask him questions when I already understand the answer just to be near him and to hear him speak and to gaze into his exquisitely eyes. I can't focus when he's near me. Whenever we make eye contact I feel like we are communicating tacitly, exchanging our feelings.

The good thing is that my grade in his class is really high, since I want to impress him and all that.

And that's the start. ;))

walang panget sa mundo. ;) hahaha..
wg lang mag iinarte. hehe..
natatwa talaga ako! ;P

31 facts about girls. =)

31 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT GIRLS

1. When a girl says she’s sad, but she isn’t crying, it means she’s crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you’ve done something wrong, it’s best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can’t find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which
is why it is so hard for her to ‘get over him’ after the relationship’s over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she
will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don’t like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can’t go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don’t try to guess a girl’s feelings. Ask her.

19. Hearing the words “I love you” is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she’ll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl’s ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple ‘Hi’ can brighten a girl’s day.

26. A girl’s best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their ‘prettier’ friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

31. Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend with their ex. But never know how.

source

Laugh =D

Kaya nga ee.. but yet I don't blv in forever damn! keep blvng and keep hurting yourself! DAMN. bbhira nln ang boys na nnwla sa forever, and once you found him, aah.. ur'e too much lucky to have that guy. ;)

TAMA! ;) hahahaa..
BASURA! ERRRRR..

Finally =) cherry Mobile phones, are so cute =)

REBLOG. ;) A wonderful Blog from a very loving heart..

This has become a popular topic of late among my stories and friends, so here goes:

I think that you can love someone and cheat on them. "Here we go again," they think. Allow me to explain first. That being said, I agree that not all cheaters love their spouse/partner, and many cheaters probably don't understand love at all. But some can, and some do.

There are different kinds of love. My love for my girlfriend...I don't think it's the same kind of love most people in healthy relationships have. I honestly and truly love my girlfriend. I care about her happiness. But I do lie to her...about my happiness. I know that she is much happier in our relationship than I am. Normally, that would not be a problem for me. I would just end it and move on.

However, part of my character and who I am, is that I fall in love with ideals, and this girl is just that. In a world where people are corrupt everywhere, she clings to hope and virtue and honesty with such tenacity I have never seen elsewhere. She has a heart as big as the world, and every time I look in her eyes, I see it there...what it is to love, so deeply, so desperately, that it remakes the universe every time she breathes. I decided long ago, when we first got together, that I would shatter the heavens and pull the stars out of the sky to preserve this...total innocence, this true love. That look must stay in her eyes, because therein lies Eve before the fall, free of sin and evil...the bastion of human goodness. Love that intense cannot be unrequited.

Surely, you say, this is an exaggeration. I assure you, it is not. She would never hurt a person. She feels no wrath. She does not lust. She makes love and never has sex. She does not know greed or envy. She does not covet. She forgives all people their sins and pardons their errors in judgment. If humanity has an examplar, she is the one. An angel would envy a soul so bright and pure as hers.

We argue all the time. Not angry, hateful fights. We fight about life, and people, and human nature. She always takes the side of angels, while I advocate for the devil. I love the discussions. She knows my heart is darker than hers, but she still loves me in spite of it. Maybe she's trying to save me, but I don't think so.

She inspires me. She believes in people, and that's why I do as well. When I met her, I had almost abandoned all hope in humanity, but she opened my eyes to their potential. While she seems to see more of human greatness than I do here on earth, I pursue the idea that we could all be better, greater...more like what she believes us to be. I differ in the philosophy of it, though, because I feel it would come about if we freed ourselves to feel without restraint. Different versions of the same story, but the world as I know and see it would not exist if not for her.

Why not, some might ask, break up with her and just be friends? This would be impossible. She is far too delicate, and I know that because she has told me that her world would end if we ever parted. She never uses it as a threat, because if she did I would push her away...but in the silent moments when we are close, and honest, she tells me this. It's not my excuse, it's a reason.

It goes far beyond this, however. In the beginning, when I was pretending to care more for her than I did, I realized how happy this one, simple lie made her. A relationship based on such a large lie, that of true love, you might argue, cannot survive. But it has, because I have committed to the lie. Not because it makes me happy. God knows...often times I wish I could be free to act on my own. No...it's because it makes her happy. I am willing to live with this lie forever, because her happiness is more important to me than mine in this matter, and what other definition is there for love, but to put someone else before yourself?

That is partially why I cheated when I did, because one night acting on my own enabled me to continue living this lie. It is also partially why I could never tell her. Not because the confession would shatter the relationship, because I'm not so sure that it would...no, because in confessing the cheating I would be admitting to the greater sin of living the lie of being as in love with her as she is with me, and this would ruin her forever. Why cheat at all, then? Because I see the world differently than she does. I don't use this to excuse my actions, I use it to explain them. She acts on virtue; I act on passion. The two together, we balance each other out. To most people I must simply seem a terrible, awful person. I just consider myself her polar opposite, and despite my disdain for blind faith in humanity, in her it is...perfect. There is no other word for it. I suppose it's like how Lucifer hates and loves God simultaneously...yes, that's exactly it.

It may not make much sense. I don't love her the way she does me, so I lie to keep her happy, because I am in love with her soul, and her dreams, and her perfection. I don't expect everyone to understand; maybe no one will.

This is not self-denial. This is not rationalization. This is pure love, not so much for the person, but for everything the person is. I would die for her. She means more to me than anyone could ever understand. I don't believe in her view of the world, but I would fight to my last breath to preserve her dream of the way the world could be. I didn't want to be with her forever, but she wants it, and for her I will do it. I am not like her, but her world is more perfect than mine, and I believe in her.

That is an ideal. That is what I love...that is the only way I know how to love. And she is the one I love. There could never be another, and I will lie to our deathbed to preserve it.