Monday, August 30, 2010

10 Mistakes you Must Never Make in a Long Distance Relationship

Every relationship has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. But a long distance relationship has to bear the additional burden of physical separation over long stretches of time. When two people in love are unable to be around each other physically, it leaves the relationship open to attacks of emotional and physical loneliness. In such a scenario, it becomes important to shun behaviour that can build up distrust and jealousy and ultimately ruin a lovely relationship. So, go through the following mistakes most long distance couples make and avoid them, if your want to keep your relationship intact.

  1. Breathing down the neck of your partner

    Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying too much into your partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.

  2. Appearing insecure

    If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship. Instead, look at the positive side to a long-distance relationship and take heart, that a meeting after a period of absence will be that much sweeter.

  3. Making allegations of infidelity

    Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.

  4. Taking your partner for granted

    While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship, even if it is separated by distance.

  5. Not involving your partner in the relationship

    When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account.

  6. Adopting a wait-and-see stance

    Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship at all and will get you nowhere.

  7. Saving all your money for later

    If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?

  8. Not being in touch

    Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Keep in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.

  9. Having an affair yourself

    The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to look for a third person to fill in for your partner, when he or she is not around. By allowing an outsider to enter your life – however briefly – you are breaking the basic bond of mutual trust that holds two people together. This is not only cheating on your partner, but an indication that you do not believe in the relationship yourself.

  10. Not having enough faith in the relationship

    There is no dearth of pessimists, who are ready to write off long distance relationships as impractical and thus impossible to maintain. Don’t believe all that critics say, because once you give in to their negative comments, you will always feel haunted by its risks – both imagined and real – until it will actually destroy your relationship. So if and when you do decide to enter into a long distance relationship, give it your all and it will surely enrich your life.

These are some of the mistakes most common in a long distance relationship which needs that much more effort to keep it going because of the pressures exerted by time and distance. However, this is not to say that long distance relationships are doomed from the start. If couples trust each other and make that extra effort to keep the fire burning, then, very few romantic encounters are as ecstatic as those, which come after periods of separation.

Why do men lie?

1. For the heck of it

Men often have a great sense of the absurd and enjoy telling the occasional lie just for a lark. They find they get a few laughs out of suckering the party concerned and pulling the wool over their eyes successfully.

2. As a matter of course

Sometimes men just lie because they can’t be bothered to tell the truth. It’s just a habit that comes naturally and can be used as a defense mechanism, rather than go through the awkward motions of telling it like it is.

3. Because it’s less complicated

If the truth requires long explanations and supporting facts, men figure it’s just easier to tell a lie. Rather than get into long-winded stories to their spouse, which expend a lot of time and effort and may still result in disgruntled looks and dissatisfied expressions and take more convincing to be believable, men prefer to lie.

4. If the reason is innocuous

If the lie isn’t a major one, men justify it as being harmless. And if it’s harmless, what’s wrong in it? They figure they’re not hurting anyone with a simple little white lie, and they don’t lose any sleep over it.

5. Because they get themselves into trouble when they tell the truth

Some men find they have an uncanny knack for getting themselves into trouble when they try telling the truth. And that it never works for them. They try being straightforward, like a sailor friend who told his girlfriend how he enjoyed visiting strip bars, when ashore, to unwind after a particularly tough voyage, and how she blew a fuse over it. He thought being honest was a great thing, until he discovered it was better to have lied or simply evaded telling the truth.

6. If they feel their partner won’t be able to handle it

Like Jim, some men feel that if they tell their partner the truth like it is, they will read more into the situation than there actually is, and blow it out of proportion. Not only will this cause trouble for the relationship, but it will also lead to a lot of discomfort and tension, which was unnecessary and uncalled for in the first place. By lying about it, men eliminate the possibility of stress and anxiety over their partner’s reaction and rest easy knowing they’ve averted a possible mishap.

YOU.YOU.YOU

HE FIXED THINGS. I LOVE HIM. =)
DAMI KUNG GUSTO SBHIN PERO DKO ALM KNG SAN CCMULAN.
NYAHAHAHA..

i miss you soo muchh!

Sarap pala nn ganitong pkrmdm..

pag gcng mo message nea hnhnap mo.. cmpleng message lan knikilig ka.. marinig mo lang boses nea aus na.. nung kinantahan nea nga ako di ako mapakali sa kilig haha.. hanggang sa pagtulog ko message nea huling nbbsa ko. IN SHORT PARANG BUONG ARAW SYA LANG ANG KASAMA KO, YUNG TIPONG SYA LANG ANG NAKAUSAP AT NAKITA KO NA PARANG WLA AKUNG NAKASALAMUHANG IBNG TAO DAHIL NBBLEWALA LHAT KAC SYA LANG NASA ICP KO.. kahit malayu sya rmdm na rmdm ko sya.. hayyyy.. and after a long time magkkita kme.. the happiness i felt is very priceless.. irreplaceable ika nga. ahahhahaha..

mahal ko nga tlga sya.. sobra sobra! =)